9.03.2008

Just Needing Some Super Comments...

I think I was so busy from the time Lorelai was born until her THREE first birthday celebrations happened that I never caught on that staying at home is in fact a sacrifice. I've been kinda freaking out about this the last few weeks. If you've been following my blog, you've already caught wind of this.
In addition to that, I've come to feel like I am "getting away with something" by staying home. I've been hesitant to post this, because I don't want other SAHMs to feel like I'm belittling their work...I'm simply stating how I feel and looking for some support.
As Tim and I sat down for dinner yesterday, I informed him that I feel like what I'm doing is too easy and fun...I feel like I'm getting away with something...so it's my nature to feel like I'm about to get in trouble for this!
I get to sleep in until 7 or 8 am, play with my kid, keep the house in order, take a break whenever I feel like it, explore my hobbies, etc.
I searched the internet last night for other moms that feel this way. One lady said that she had been quite harshly told that she should be out working and using her degree, not staying home with her kids...the lady was like (paraphrasing here) "dude, staying home rocks...I get to do whatever I want!"
I do wish I could have used my degree before I had Lorelai...I do have plans of someday going back for my master's and working in the counseling field...I know this wouldn't be the best time to do that...if I went back now, for sure I'd have to work full-time as soon as I was done with school to pay off that hefty loan...which would mean working while all our kids were little...which is exactly the opposite of what I set out to do.
If anyone can program my brain to stop fretting about this, it would be great !

11 comments:

Christa Robinet said...

Becca, I have on many occasions felt the same way. Being a SAHM can be so much fun at times you feel guilty. But, I can't imagine leaving my kids everyday and missing all their firsts. Or, just getting to snuggle them or kiss them at certain times during the day for no reason. Or, hearing them laugh sooo hard at the silliest things that you can't help but join in. I think it's totally normal to feel this way for probably every SAHM. But, I will tell you that the more kids you have sometims the less guilty you feel cause it gets to be a TON of work! Maybe that's what you need...another baby!!! Just Kidding! Just know that you're not the only one who feels this way and whatever you decide to do will be the best decision for your family. So, don't let anybody take that away from you.

the prophet said...

first i should apologize for commenting out of the blue, i stumbled onto here from somewhere else.

secondly, i say this in all seriousness, when the time comes i would love to be a stay at home dad. i think guys miss out on this phenomenon. there is no pride issue for me if my wife is bringing home the bacon. although, im not a big fan of bacon. (heresy, i know.)

while i think it's good for kids to have some space as they get older, what balanced person would pass up the opportunity to be with their little ones? screw people who guilt you, they're just unimaginative.

i can't tell you how to feel, but i can tell you i'm jealous.

Elle said...

Enjoy it while you can. I work part time so we don't have to have anyone else take of the children. I love being home with them as much as possible and having the freedom to do as I please.

scraps_n_stuff said...

go read luke 12

becca, God has given you this opportunity to stay home with lorelai. enjoy it while it lasts. don't worry about what you could be doing. i know you are having blast with her so just bask in the pleasure of having an easy first child. i still feel like i'm getting away with it and i have two. there are days when i freak out cause i need a break from the girls or i need adult time or i would like a bit more $$$$$$ but those are only moments. when i look at the whole picture could i ask for anything better than being at home raising the children God has blessed me with? i will definitely be praying for you that God will give you answers to your questions and contentment with your current "job." but i do agree with christa, maybe another baby would help put things into a better perspective!

mrsbear said...

I've been a working mom and a stay-at-home mom and let me tell you being unemployed rocks. I don't want to put it that way either, because I satisfy a lot of needs for our family. It's just a perfect fit for us, and often it is hard work, but not as difficult as it was for me balancing work and quality time with my family. It's a blessing and yeah, I feel lucky that we're able to do it. Try not to feel guilty about it, feel grateful and enjoy the heck out of it.

Cathy said...

I was SAHM when for a year and was loving it. The husband of my friend offered a part time position in their IT dept and I just couldn't resist it. It's only a few miles from my house and work only 5 hours a day.

I missed being home with my little one all the time but I also love being a work, so I'm trying spend a lot time with her as much as I can.

Don't listen to what everybody says, I agree with Elle. Enjoy it while you can.

jallen said...

Becca,
I work and even though the money is nice, I am counting the days until school breaks for Christmas and I am officially a SAHM! I think the grass always seems greener! You are blessed and lucky, enjoy it:) If you are really bored maybe it is time for #2! That way your day will be that much more busy!

Stephanie said...

Becca, I think its great your given the option to stay home because not everyone can be a SAHM and not everyone wants to be. I have been working full-time and I am working on my own business to hopefully get the opportunity to at least be a WAHM.

Have fun and enjoy the time you have with your daughter.

Elizabeth Channel said...

Embrace the blessing! And yes it does get more challenging once you have a few more children and they get a little older.

Still, it's wonderful!

Mary said...

You are very fortunate. But you needn't feel guilty for your personal decision. In the grand scheme of things, this time with your children is short. When the time is right you can pursue your further education and career. I know a woman who teaches in the Counseling Dept. at Penn State who didn't go to college at all until her son was a senior in high school. She's a known expert in the field of school bullying and writes/speaks nationally. Don't fret - your time will come!

Nina said...

I would be so happy to make that sacrafice and stay at home. I am still working on my husband. Funny thing, your quote sounds like it came right out of my blog. LOL